Letter to Broken Hearts [5.13.2012]
Shaking
I feel it coming on again
oh dear god it is like a drug!
and yet there is this fear
holding back
Quivering here
drinking it all in
the scene paints itself across
the dim-lit room
shaggy multi colored rug
toys along the coffee table
cds in a rack alongside
all around the apartment boxes and boxes
lovely antiques
hockey jerseys
swim trunks
little boys smiling out of photographs
distinguished older ancestors staring from others
and handsome younger faces grinning out at me from distant memories
magazines with old addresses
multi-colored flatware
and candy all about
Punk rock everywhere and forever
I drink it all in
as I sip wine
and ponder what are we doing?!?
Just be, just enjoy. just relax
Watch out!
What's this mean?
Is he feeling like me?
Is he afraid?
Confused
Trying to play it cool
yet freaking out
Analyzing
The wine makes for loose lips
and bare skin
And yet
what is this this fear
this hesitancy mumbled out in midst of kisses and caresses and zombies
flashing across the screen
What I see I like much of
Cute, charming, intelligent
responsible and caring
yet fun-loving, mischievous
But wait!
Do not let these attractions blind me from other realities
How fresh are the wounds?
Be careful of someone who could be more fragile than letting on
and yet
oh that sweet addictive
romantic attraction connection
I crave
But wait!
Be careful
Do not let go all the way
yet
What if
What if he tramples you
like the others?
What if he doesn't feel the same?
Or worse,
what if he won't let himself
what if he won't let go
Well whatever
Let go of either side
Let go and yet
do not give up
Just let go and be
Be the best possible me
We will see
Just breathe and be
