Flooded with tangled emotions
I attempt to comb through the knots within
Our pasts returning to churn up familiar anxieties
I knew she was making false claims to you-
ashamed though of my insecure detective work
I am fascinated and envious all at the same time
Why can't she go away?
Inside I know I wish for my heart to be stronger
rather than for this past lifetime of yours to go away
My own past also reappears
happy and nervous-
Such tumultuous memories
Yet I need to reconnect,
to become friends again
as the people we are now,
what we have become since our bitter end...
But not the end-a chance for a reconnection,
a chance to straighten out emotions
All of this flying,
racing through my brain
like obsessions
Just let me sleep

[from 1/16/08]